Eyes Open

Originally uploaded by darkmarty

I can’t seem to catch a smile just yet, but we’ve at least got eye color.

But, I’ve recently learned why.

My friend Chuck sent me a Parker fountain pen similar to this. It turned out that it was a bit more difficult to write with than your average ball point. In order to see what I was doing wrong, I did some searching on the proper methods for writing with a fountain pen. What I discovered was that I was am writing incorrectly with all pens, not just fountain pens. I don’t write, I draw the letters with my fingers.

Like this, I’m unlikely to be able to write properly with a fountain pen. So, at the age of 33, I’m going to undertake the this task: I will learn to write properly. And, since I’m tired of smearing my ink, I’m going to learn right-handed.

I’ll keep you posted with writing samples and such as I do this.

That’s all it took. Our condo, which seemed a luxurious construction of open space when we bought it, feels more like a storage unit now than a home. Five weeks after Rhys’s birth, 800 square feet simply isn’t enough.

Time to start shopping.

I’m sure that in a few weeks, we’ll have pictures that won’t involve napping.

A nap seems to be in order.

Everyone needs a nap sometime.

For those of you who don’t know, the fountain effect is when taking a diaper off of a boy, the chill causes him to spontaneously pee.

Now, I knew this. I had some experience with it, so I was prepared. The boy had a poopy diaper, so I unfastened it, and placed a baby wipe on his penis so as to avoid the dirty fountain. At this point, however, things began to go wrong. Rhys kicked, jamming his feet into his black, tarry mess. Surprised, I grabbed another wipe to get his feet clean, and forgot about the penis capping wipe. Sure enough, it moved, and he peed on his diaper, his feet, Tonya, his bedding, his eye, the wall, and the floor.

So, now I know the second lesson. Hold his feet. Firmly.

Incidentally, the nursery at St. David’s is typically a quiet place, but with every nurse in the place laughing as I explained why I needed new bedding and towels, it was, for a moment or two, a very merry place.

Welcome Rhys!

Considering this issues that we’ve had to this point, resulting in multiple miscarriages, I can’t help but get a little weepy thinking about the fact that, after 18 months of on again-off again pregnancy, we’re finally (almost) at the point of becoming parents. Well, I would get weepy, were I not a man and thus not allowed to be weepy. Solemn, perhaps, but never weepy.

Tonya’s body has become something of an inside-out jungle gym to the Bean (who, it may be said, is now the largest bean ever grown), who struggles to find comfortable laying positions. Invariably, he finds one that involves his foot in Tonya’s ribs, or his butt against her spine, or the ever popular “two feet one bladder.” It’s almost as if he’s fighting his way out, which may not be a stretch considering how big Tonya’s stomach has gotten.

In order to document the occasion, I bought what may very well be my last purchase from a company not named Gerber. I got a Flip Ultra. The rest of the day will be spent uploading crappy videos of me playing my guitar (poorly) to my youtube channel. If you’re lucky, you may get to see a video of my dogs barking, or possibly of me shaving. Under no circumstances will you see anything of value in that channel. So stop checking. Mr. Worthington.

Soon, however, you’ll get to see my beautiful son. Who will almost certainly have a cone head and look like a lizard. Just like dad.